Wednesday, January 4, 2012

The Santorum Theocracy

“One of the things I will talk about, that no president has talked about before, is I think the dangers of contraception in this country.” And also, “Many of the Christian faith have said, well, that’s okay, contraception is okay. It’s not okay. It’s a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.”

Do things. Ummm … Not exactly a holistic attitude toward sex, but instead a conception that breaks down making love into separate and discreet activities … which people do, when they do things.

Can we elect an 11-year old to the Presidency? Because this is the level of the former senator from Pennsylvania’s sophistication with respect (well 'not respect' actually) to human sexuality. He envisions a politics where government cannot regulate pollution or insider trading, but can be cognizant of whether husbands and wives are having non-procreative sex in anything other than the missionary position. He feels life would be better if there were Vatican authorized vanilla sex Gestapo agents standing by in case non-Vatican authorized sex acts take place within the jurisdiction of the United States. It's a sexy fantasy …. voyeurs with arrest warrants lurking to seize upon any illicit “thing” We'll almost surely need surveillance cameras for this operation, and then trials can be broadcast live, and perhaps if things get really pure and historical and back to the way the founders understood individuality, we will be blessed with public hanging on the town green for all sorts of “things” the evidence of which will eventually make its way onto You-Tube. Of course, to watch the live executions or download the You-Tube vids you are gonna have to be in a free country like Canada or Holland.

Then again after food stamps are eliminated, gays kicked from the military, all gay unions and marriages legally annulled, and the nuking of Tehran, and all contraception pulled from the shelves, a decedant European welfare state will suddenly appear very vivacious and quite a bit less Calvinist. The Santorum Theocracy will never come about anymore than the Caliphate will be re-established, but the sexy vision of power, degradation, and servility we exorcise from our politics may linger in our sex lives where, crude as they are, they are at home along with all of our high and low hopes and passions

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